A guide for couples
Something changed, and neither of you has the words for it yet.
She is exhausted, awake at three, short on patience she used to have, and not sure she feels like herself. You are trying to help, and somehow every fix you offer lands wrong. Most couples in this stretch are not missing love. They are missing information.
Both of You: A Partner’s Guide to Menopause is written in two parts. One is for her. The other is written directly to her partner.
This is a digital PDF download, not a printed book. Because access is provided immediately, all sales are final and we do not offer change-of-mind refunds. If you receive a faulty file, cannot access your download, or are charged twice, please contact us so we can resolve it. This does not affect any rights you have under applicable law. See our terms.
Part One is for her
Four short chapters about what is actually available to you, much of which goes unmentioned, how to say what you need without shrinking it first, and how to tell a symptom from a situation.
- How to hand the guide over, with three ways to say it depending on where things are at home
- The practical fixes and the treatable symptoms women are rarely told about
- Saying it out loud without translating it into something smaller
Part Two is for her partner
The bulk of the book, written directly to the partner and assuming no prior knowledge at all.
- What is actually happening in her body, and why it is not a smooth decline
- The symptoms you are seeing, and the ones you are not
- Why your instinct to fix it keeps misfiring, and what to do instead
- Sex, plainly: what changed, why it is not a message about you, and what helps
- What this has been like for you, too
- The parts that are not hormonal, menopause that arrives suddenly after surgery or treatment, and what treatment actually involves
99 pages, with 8 scripts for the conversations that usually go nowhere, including one for when a clinician is brushing her off, and 5 printable worksheets. Written for partners of every kind.
Who wrote it
I am Courtney DuBois Shihabuddin, DNP, APRN-CNP, MSCP, a nurse practitioner who specializes in perimenopause and menopause and the founder of Empowered Wellness. So many of my patients asked for something they could hand to the person they live with that I wrote it. This is what I tell couples in my office, in the words I use there.
Not ready for 99 pages? Start with seven.
7 Ways to Show Up for Her is a free preview: what is happening in her body during perimenopause, what it can look like at home, and seven things a partner can start doing tonight, with words to borrow when you are not sure what to say. It arrives by email.
Digital PDF download. All sales are final for change of mind; download problems, duplicate charges and applicable legal rights are covered in our refund policy. See our terms.
Already have the guide?
Here is the one-page version you can print, for when a hundred pages is not going to happen but one page might.
This guide is for education only and is not individual medical advice. Reading it does not create a clinician and patient relationship. Always talk with your own care team before starting, stopping, or changing any treatment. If you think you are having a medical emergency, call 911. Digital product, delivered by email, all sales final. See the Terms & Refund Policy.
